Tuesday, 26 July 2011

Pop Quiz: Edwin

Fort Paradox Pop Quiz: Edwin

Q: Describe yourself in five words?
Edwin: Gardener, Pensioner, Practically-minded, Conservative, Civilised.  Sorry - can I count 'Practically-minded' as one word?

Q: That's fine.  What's your favourite colour?
Edwin: Green. Especially the warm, living green of a new leaf in the sun in April or May.  That's my horticultural hobby showing through there.

Q: Favourite number?
Edwin: Four. It’s a very practical number.

Q: What do you miss most from your life before Fort Paradox?
Edwin: Everything.  Absolutely Everything.

Q: Um, right... so, what do you enjoy most about life on board Fort Paradox?
Edwin: I’m not really enjoying it as such… mind you, that garden centre is quite good.

Q: What would your perfect day be like?
Edwin: Just pottering around the garden. Maybe meet up with a friend for coffee or lunch. A good book in the evening, with a hot chocolate.

Q: Where would you most like to visit?
Edwin: I’d quite like to see the German Christmas markets sometime. That, or Vienna.

Q: And finally: Beethoven or Bieber?
Edwin: Beg pardon - Beethoven or what?

Friday, 22 July 2011

Episode 67

...and here goes Chapter VII: The Sword in the Droid...


Script by MGHC & TMJ & SRJ --- Artwork by MGHC

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Pop Quiz: Forkley

We seem to have settled on Tuesdays for posting these quizzes.  Anyway, here's our hardest-to-draw forklift truck in the hot seat:


Fort Paradox Pop Quiz: Forkley

Q: Describe yourself in five words?
Forkley: Fun-loving, Mischievous, Quick, Red, Loud.

Q: What's your favourite colour?
Forkley: I'm more into textures, rather than just colours.  I like my colours all bold and crazy and mixed up.  Orange and black is a pretty good combination, I think.

Q: Favourite number?
Forkley: A quintillion.  Partly because it's huge, and partly because the name sounds really cool.

Q: What do you miss most from your life before Fort Paradox?
Forkley: I miss the huge open expanse of concrete outside my hangar where I used to make skid marks most mornings.

Q: What do you enjoy most about life on board Fort Paradox?
Forkley: Corridors.  Lots and lots and lots of exciting new corridors to explore.

Q: What would your perfect day be like?
Forkley: I keep changing my mind about that, but the main constant is that there would be a lot of lasers.

Q: Where would you most like to visit?
Forkley: I’m half-way through a grand tour of the five most impressive ruined planets in the universe.  I got to two of them and then got distracted, and then an intergalactic war got in the way.  Once that’s all settled down I really want to finish the tour.

Q: And finally: I've got to ask since you're a forklift truck, what's your maximum lifting capacity?
Forkley: A lot.  I mean, it varies depending on the nature of the load, depending on the state of my batteries and my hydraulics, maybe even my tyre pressure, but on average, a few dozen tonnes.  If I try really hard when I've just been tuned up, and I've got something compact but dense to lift, I can manage a hundred tonnes.

Q: That seems a lot for a machine your size.
Forkley: Maybe by your engineering standards, but you've got to bear in mind that I'm the product of one of the most advanced races in the known universe - people who had perfected cheap large-scale FTL transport before you Earth lot had even invented the railway.

Friday, 15 July 2011

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

Pop Quiz: Fred Nagg

Fort Paradox Pop Quiz: Fred Nagg

Q: Describe yourself in five words?
Nagg: Displeased…About…Being…Mindlessly…Interviewed

Q: What's your favourite colour?
Nagg: Hmm… The edge of ultra violet is great. Especially if you like Niquee parasitology, which incidentally, I do.

Q: Favourite number?
Nagg: Why would anyone want a favourite number?

Q: What do you miss most from your life before Fort Paradox?
Nagg: My work. I also miss Harry and the rest of my friends. In fact, there's one thing that I wouldn't really miss about my old life, BUT HE FOLLOWED ME ON!

Q: What do you enjoy most about life on board Fort Paradox?
Nagg: Uuuggh… I don't know. The food tastes funny, the job's boring, and locals are downright odd. That said, as a speciologist, a sentient Forklift and a talking toilet roll holder are fascinating.

Q: What would your perfect day be like?
Nagg: Up at 5:00am, do a good day's work out in the field, somewhere really nice like Ll'aana 4, then back home, bath, stiff milkshake, find that George Darlan is on holiday, evening stroll, bed.

Q: Where would you most like to visit?
Nagg: D'know, really. I get to go to loads of interesting places. Wall Street might be interesting, if Earth wasn't out-of-bounds for tourism. I'd like to meet a human banker. They sound a fascinating sub-species…

Q: And finally: Wound you agree that the great Dr. W.Q Mallard is a superb captain?
I feel slightly uneasy about answering that question… Who is this interviewing me anyway?

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

Pop Quiz: Cylinder

Haven't made our minds up yet whether it'd be best to post the Pop Quiz separately on Tuesdays or to include it with the Friday episodes.  I thought I'd go with Tuesday this week, on an experimental basis.


Fort Paradox Pop Quiz: Cylinder

Q: Describe yourself in five words?
Cylinder: Crazy, Enthusiastic, Spontaneous, Joie-de-vivre, and... um... Sunglasses.

Q: What's your favourite colour?
Cylinder: Yellow.  Custard yellow.  I wouldn't change my voice colour to custard yellow, because it wouldn't be very readable against light backgrounds, but it's my favourite colour overall.

Q: Favourite number?
Cylinder: Oh, I don't know.  I'm not really the sort to get excited about numbers; I'm more into shapes and colours and ideas and stuff.  But maybe 42, because of Hitchhiker's Guide, if I really had to choose one.

Q: What do you miss most from your life before Fort Paradox?
Cylinder: Oh, not much, really.  Having said that, it was nice having my sentient, preservative-steeped sprig of broccoli to keep me organised, and if I stay here long then I'm sure I'll start missing my airship, and my custard jacuzzi, and Shoppy's habit of making pithy metaphysical statements with really appalling grammar.  And I've left some other friends behind too, which is kind of a shame.  But I mean, I've just said a lot of words, which makes it sound like I'm grumpy here, but I'm really enjoying it actually.

Q: What do you enjoy most about life on board Fort Paradox?
Cylinder: The variety.  As in, it's really different from my normal life; all new places and new people and whatever, so I'm really enjoying the adventure aspect.

Q: What would your perfect day be like?
Cylinder: All my friends and an insane amount of pizza and lemonade, all hanging out in... well, anywhere really - it's the people that make the difference, more than the place.  Just talking and messing around and stuff.  Having fun.

Q: Where would you most like to visit?
Cylinder: That's a good one.  I've done so many places already, and there are so many still to go... you know what, just point me to the horizon.  Seriously, I'll explore wherever this ship takes me.

Q: And finally: you have a noted fondness for puddings.  How many fillings do you have?
Cylinder: I don't know.  I think Albert's got some tins of black cherry sauce in the cupboard, and plenty of custard - that's a great pie filling, if you ask me, cherries and custard - but I don't spend my time counting them.

Q: I meant fillings in your teeth.
Cylinder: Oh, that sort of fillings.  Sorry.  None - I do like me some pudding, but I also have an encyclopaedic first-hand knowledge of toothpastes.

Q: Well, that's it.  Thanks for participating!
Cylinder: Any time.


Q for the readers: Which character(s) would you like to interview next?
A: in the comments area...

Saturday, 2 July 2011

Tuesdays Down

By the time you read this, you should already have noticed the updated header graphic, which is properly centred relative to the page (unlike its predecessor), and states that the webcomic "updates every Friday".  What, no Tuesdays?

Um... no.  Sorry.  We don't have many more finished episodes left (just 9, at the time of writing), and we've decided to cut the posting rate to once-a-week again to avoid completely running out.  We think a reduced-but-still-regular schedule is better than the risk of having to stop altogether.

Episode 65 releases on Friday the 8th.

As per last time, we plan to re-introduce Tuesday posts if and when we get far enough ahead with writing new episodes.  And in the meanwhile, we've decided to fill in the blanks with a little pop quiz which will be answered by a different character each week.  Unless you've got any more burning questions, in which case we might consider doing another Weekly FAQ instead.

- The Colclough (on behalf of itself & TMJ & SRJ)